Colbert's run for President

Steven Colbert announced he is going to run for United States President ... of South Carolina. (Okay, that's a stretch. He's going to campaign only in South Carolina.)

He cannot be successful as President. Here's why. If you've seen his show, you know that he puts little blurbs on the side of the screen to emphasize and explain his talking points. If you've read his book, you know he adds blurbs in side margins and footnotes in the foot margin. How is he going to do that with his Saturday radio addresses? He can't; ergo, he can't succeed as President.

Which brings us to point 2. The conspiracy surrounding his book. He claims he didn't write it, but, instead, spoke into a tape recorder and someone else transcribed it into book form. But how did he get the side notes and footnotes? How do you dictate that? It's the moon landing of literature. He'll never get past that untruthiness of a skeleton in his closet to become President.

However, if I'm wrong and he becomes President, he will be unique. No, not the fact that he'd be a rare, as he stated, "white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative." No. While he'd be the 44th United States President, he'd be the very first United States Presiden (silent t). So he's got that going for him.

And have a good day.